Happening Objective

“The feeling that you have made a difference is greater than if you have made a lot of wealth” said Mr. Ratan Tata in a convocation speech he gave at Mumbai International School of Business (MISB) Bocconi this month – a philosophy he has been consistently following through his 50-year run at the Tata Group – a philosophy Happening Babua takes to his heart and follows it to the core, evinced by his contribution to the society sans interest in any form of wealth.

After retiring as the Chairman of the Tata group in January 2013, it seems that Mr. Ratan Tata is on a journey to make a bigger difference in India. A difference no one has ever attempted before anywhere in the world. A difference which though he hasn’t disclosed seems to be in a pattern to achieve a particular objective. But what is the objective? Let’s dive into the past and analyse like all the journalists do.

It all started from August last year when Tata decided to use his personal wealth of worth Rs. 6,000 crore to redefine his retirement and achieve that objective, while at the same time contribute to India’s startup ecosystem.

1. Snapdeal: In June 2014, when Flipkart broke Happ’s trust by not getting MotoE on its site on time, making Happ talk to the Indian government in order to implement FDI in ecommerce to teach Flipkart a lesson, Mr. Ratan Tata jumped in to make our beloved hapless Happ happier. Within two months, he invested in Snapdeal so that Happ continues to purchase scented candles to light his house and also get rid of the stink of the carcasses of cockroaches and lizards. In addition to this, Tata was also instrumental in making sure that Snapdeal sold Android One phones.
2. Urban Ladder: In November 2014, when Happ had lodged himself in the sewers of Bangalore to invent his bespoke transportation device and also avoid all the hype surrounding Bang Bang, Tata felt that such a megahero did not deserve to be under the ground be it any situation. That’s why he invested in Urban Ladder so that Happ’s house can be as lively as his tummy and he wouldn’t bother to go into the sewers again.
3. CarDekho: It’s a well known fact that Happ commutes on his second-hand bicycle whenever he wants to travel short distances and on his pigeon on national and international projects. But there is no status symbol on the roads which can give a confidence boost more than a car, is there? Seems that that’s why Tata invested in CarDekho to up Happ’s lifestyle in February 2015.
4. Paytm: Come whatever may, Happ never seems to leave the company of his pigeon (whose name no one knows). Tata attempted one more bid to rope him in the cell phone market by investing in Paytm so that recharging his phone won’t be cumbersome for Happ.
5. Grameen Capital: Now that everyone knows the modes of transportation used by Happ, not many people know that he was actually bailed out by the government for failing to repay back his loan to buy his bicycle. In a bid to prevent this kind of occurrence again, Tata picked up a stake in Grameen Capital, a firm that advises and arranges funds for microfinance institutions, in March 2015.
6. Xiaomi: Yet another attempt by Tata to make Happ ditch his pigeon and use a mobile phone instead for communication. He has acquired a stake in Xiaomi so that Happ at least thinks of it as a cheap phone manufacturer and gets converted to a gizmo freak.

See the pattern? Got the underlying objective? Though all of these are business decisions – any company’s brand value increases manifold if Happ buys from them even once – keeping Happ more engaged and connected is Tata’s social cause.

It’s only a matter of time to see if Happ changes his lifestyle or remains the same.

The Transformation Efficacy

I took the blank newspaper which arrived at my doorstep in the morning and inserted it into the USB port of my laptop. The game “The Great Indian Tamasha” starts to load. Now here’s the thing about this game. The main character of this game, the first and the one and only virtual superhero on this planet, Happening Babua creates sensations in whatever he does and thus makes the headlines of India as well as the world. The entire journalism sector is centered on the acts of Happening Babua (HaBa).

The game has finally loaded now. At last, it has been raining cats and dogs in Bangalore and HaBa, lying on a puddle of water on the terrace of his haunted-looking building,  has soaked in all the raindrops which dripped into his mouth. Since his internal organs are lined with sponge, he’ll have a store of water-energy for a considerable amount of time. His physical appearance has also changed drastically. Just like Raisin turning into Grape, his pale white complexion has taken a turn towards a pinkish one due to the consumption of his healthiest diet and has developed another ab – 4 now instead of yesterday’s 3!!!

After seeing his new-found-skin-complexion in his amoeba-shaped mirror he is so happy that he has decided to travel to Delhi on his personal vehicle-The Dust Particle to thank the Met Department officials for their on-the-spot rain prophecy. This has now also resulted in lowering the Stress Level Meter in the Met Department as they can now stay alive without any fear of getting assaulted by HaBa’s acid-spit.

On his way out of the department, he sees Prime Minister NaMo giving blessings to the MPs as they were touching his feet. When NaMo saw that HaBa is watching him, he immediately calls for a meeting in the Central Hall of Parliament and asks all the MPs not to touch his feet or that of any other senior leader anytime and rather be punctual and prepared for all the sessions; a reference to HaBa’s exquisite punctuality and his preparedness of bringing a bottle of Bangalore’s rainwater for the Met officials to taste.

And in addition to this, it’s worth noting that Flipkart’s promise to get the MotoE on the site by 11 AM is the total opposite of how seriously HaBa takes his words. HaBa is already thinking of going and convincing the government to immediately implement FDI in eCommerce to teach Flipkart a lesson. In spite of his regular purchase of scented candles to lighten up his house while at the same time getting rid of the stink of the carcasses of cockroaches and lizards, Flipkart hasn’t learnt how loyal HaBa has been to them till now.

But poor HaBa…and I mean literally poor…as in pauper. He has to book an LPG cylinder before the next month so that he can enjoy his patented pudding-Strawberry-Neem seed hot coffee fudge-at the same price as they’ll be dear next month.

And on a different note; seeing the healthy-looking HaBa at his pink, the NSE and the BSE both touched an all time high despite SEBI’s accusation of L&T Finance’s involvement in insider trading which didn’t really deter anyone.