Mission Mangalyaan-ic Telepathy

After the tremendous success with Brazilian Neymar’s current form, the ISRO has decided to rope in the legendary Happening Babua for a costly mission.

Hold on. Did you miss something? Well…because of the big heart that I have,  I’m willing to tell you the preceding events in a nutshell.

Happening Babua doesn’t really have a fixed job. Whether he deserves it or not is an altogether different issue…a highly sensitive one in that regard, but our hero doesn’t believe in having one. The goal he has set for himself till 2020 is to become the ‘The Master of All Trades And The Jack of None’. Yeah…that’s right. And definitely realistic considering the vast experience Happ has by working in almost 367 job profiles.

In 2012 when Gangnam Style became a YouTube sensation, Psy was getting a lot of queries regarding his dancing and horse-riding skills – which remained a big mystery at the time. But finally after immense pressure from Justin Bieber and his manager he revealed his success mantra – Happening Babua. Happ had actually devised a deadly combo of dance and horse-riding moves, and had given Psy the rights to use this patented dance-riding moves. He also taught him how to embed the contagious virus so that it becomes a viral YouTube video.

After this ‘Revelation of the Decade’, a lot of football players started contacting Happening to coach them with some really breathtaking moves. After a tiring shortlisting procedure which lasted for almost 2 months involving pronouncing the players’ names, Happening finally decided to coach Neymar from Brazil as that’s the easiest to pronounce, in addition to the fact that it’s a combination of two Hindi words. And now…the rest is history. You can surf the net and get a hang of Neymar’s current game-form and compare it to his past. Happ is really-really a legendary megastar who has been somehow pushed to the background due to Rajinikanth’s immense popularity among the children of India.

Now that the FIFA World Cup is about to begin, Happ has stopped spoonfeeding Neymar and has asked him to fend for himself in the next one hell-of-a-glamorous month – now that Jennifer Lopez has agreed to perform at the opening ceremony due to Happ’s insistence. Taking note of the fact that Happ is now free from any commitments, the ISRO has roped him to play a kind-of football in space. Football and Happening’s telepathic superpower is the basis for this selection. The ISRO wants Happening to nudge India’s Mars Orbiter – Mangalyaan a tad closer to Mars. It’s not a routine operation. A great degree of precision is required in calculating and correctly firing the four small rocket engines on board the spacecraft in the exact direction for precisely 16 seconds — a high-pressure task capable of being executed flawlessly with Happening’s just one of the superhuman capabilities where he’ll communicate with Mangalyaan’s rocket engines telepathically and play with them like a football — a task which if fails would make the Rs 450 Crore satellite get lost in space rendering the highly prestigious Mars mission a dud unless, of course, it’s cast in Gravity 2.

Just another one of those heroic acts of Happ for which he has earned the rightful title ‘The Megahero of Superheroes’.

The Power Outage Mode

“A new day…a new beginning”, thought Happening Babua this morning. Staying at his friends’ house for the opening ceremony of his Chai Shop, Happening decided to finally take a bath after setting his all-time-high-record of the biggest bath between baths. His last bath was on the day of Holi when all the street kids decided to tease him by wearing ‘We Love Rajinikanth’ T-shirts and squirted him with aam-ras. Also he wanted to take bath to wash off all of his anger because of the last night’s argument with his friend regarding whether Batman is a real superhero or not. The intense argument lasted 3 hours which also resulted in the neighbours calling the Delhi Police notifying them about a possible murder about to happen. The ridiculously meaningless meaningful argument was finally decided by tossing a coin which had resulted in the hapless Happ losing the argument. After that when his friend offered him a cup of Hajmola-ladened tea with 45% latte, the hapless Happ dislocated his little finger by holding it out too far while holding the cup (as if the trauma of the day was not enough for him). And if that was not enough, the hapless Happ’s eyes started paining because of the brightness setting of the black and white TV in the house before he finally went off to sleep.

However, leaving everything behind, the helpless Hap took a long bath after which he brushed his teeth with a Neem twig. After an intense 37 minute decision-making struggle about which plug point to use for the hair-dryer, when he finally decided to use the one near the window, the lights went off. Offffff…poor hapless Happ!!! Really sad turn of events today too. But the optimist that he is, he decided to go to the terrace and get his hair dried naturally. And getting Vitamin D in the morning for free was like a cherry on the ice-cream. Ohh…about the ice-cream in the fridge…oh no…they are equivalent of sweet milk now.

Trying to wipe his tears due to the unfortunate turn of events, he noticed a bunch of kids on the street playing Cricket wearing the same Rajinikanth T-shirts. It was then that he decided to seek revenge – a vengeance which will put him on par with the makers of The Conjuring. He decided to tell them a number of horror stories he made while watching IPL recently.
It has been 5 hours, and the kids seem to be enjoying the story telling session. Poor hapless Happ will be better off becoming a comedy story-teller one day.