I took the blank newspaper which arrived at my doorstep in the morning and inserted it into the USB port of my laptop. The game “The Great Indian Tamasha of Happening Babua” starts to load. Now here’s the thing about this game. The main character of this game, the first and the one and only virtual superhero on this planet, Happening Babua creates sensations in whatever he does and thus makes the headlines of India as well as the world. The entire journalism sector is centered on the acts of Happening Babua.
The game has finally loaded now. On the barren lands of the cracked earth Happening Babua is anxious to know when he’ll be able to drink water. He never drinks water from the taps, bottles, glasses etc. It adds a kind of artificial taste which he so loathes and is sensed immediately by his sophisticated taste buds made of Nickel resulting in the water turning into acid in his mouth. That’s just one of his super powers. Thus, in the eager anticipation of drinking water directly from the skies, he goes straight to New Delhi at the speed of Mach 3 on his personal emergency travel vehicle- The Dust Particle- and threatens to destroy the Weather Department with his acid laden spit unless they tell him when the monsoon is going to arrive. Panic stricken, the officials have given him a time of 24 hours for the arrival of monsoon in South India and have since vacated their offices and homes in case they have to face the wrath of the unpredictable Happening as he has nothing else to do if the prophecy is not true. As a result of this monsoon news, the Nifty hits the highest level in more than a week.
In order to celebrate the World Environment today, Happening plants a sapling in the middle of the Indian Ocean with cameras to detect some illegal activities and keep them in check, seeing which even Prime Minister Narendra Modi pledged to save mother earth. And in order to make the political environment also stronger he led the newly elected MPs take oath in the 16th Lok Sabha. This should take Happening’s mind away from his water crises and he calls the US president Barack Obama to meet Modi and mend the Indo-US relationship which was long due. This will now result in NaMo visiting US in September after seeking blessings from Happpening.
On the way out of the Met Department, he comes across Shekhar Gupta. Their interaction actually dates back to 2nd June, ie 3 days ago, when Happening was in a mood to read a newspaper in the afternoon after his futile search for dark clouds in the sky. Tiredness comparable to the most active snail on this planet, he selected Indian Express to read. Suddenly a fly came from nowhere and sat on his nose which prompted him to squash it to a horrible Final Destination-like death with the newspaper. He returned the blood-stained paper back to the vendor and selected a magazine and went home instead. Once this incident spread like wildfire in the evening, Editor-in-chief of the Indian Express Shekhar Gupta resigned as he felt that he was not effective in keeping Happening’s reading interest. On the 3rd, he went to Happening’s home and pleaded him to disclose which news magazine he had bought. After finding out that it was India Today that Happening turned to read news, Shekhar Gupta went to their office to become their Vice-Chairman and has vowed never to let Happening down again. Just one thing. Just one little thing or incident or action or decision of Happening. Enough to steer people in different directions.Back to the current moment, Shekhar who had tears rolling down his eyes by now sought blessings from Happening and gave him a lift to France in his private plane. Seeing Happening on the front row, Maria Sharapova got so excited that she just finished the semi-final game off by winning it and came running towards Happening to take his autograph, which he so reluctantly obliged as he is not used to being looked upon a lot. In spite of his heroic acts to this nation the children of India still consider him to be the second best superhero after Rajinikanth, which Happening has finally come to terms with. After giving the autograph to Maria, he immediately flew straight to Amazon’s office in US to unveil a video of a 3D holographic phone. He’d rather not disclose that it was actually his brainchild as this would disappoint all the children back home in India who would have to come to terms with the fact that Happening Babua is the real ultra-super hero of the world and Rajinikanth is nothing in front of him. Happening has such a big heart.
After coming back to New Delhi, he was so happy with the service that he made the Airport Council International (ACI) declare the Delhi Airport to be the 2nd best in the world…you know as he’s now comfortable with the 2nd best superhero tag. His presence was so scintillating that they ultimately forgot that this airport is actually a lake during monsoons. But anyway the awards stand as of now.
Happening is finally now back to his home and staring at the terrace to lick the first drops of rain.
The Happenings of Hapless Happ 