I took the blank newspaper which arrived at my doorstep in the morning and inserted it into the USB port of my laptop. The game “The Great Indian Tamasha” starts to load. Now here’s the thing about this game. The main character of this game, the first and the one and only virtual superhero on this planet, Happening Babua creates sensations in whatever he does and thus makes the headlines of India as well as the world. The entire journalism sector is centered on the acts of Happening Babua (HaBa).
The game has finally loaded now. At last, it has been raining cats and dogs in Bangalore and HaBa, lying on a puddle of water on the terrace of his haunted-looking building, has soaked in all the raindrops which dripped into his mouth. Since his internal organs are lined with sponge, he’ll have a store of water-energy for a considerable amount of time. His physical appearance has also changed drastically. Just like Raisin turning into Grape, his pale white complexion has taken a turn towards a pinkish one due to the consumption of his healthiest diet and has developed another ab – 4 now instead of yesterday’s 3!!!
After seeing his new-found-skin-complexion in his amoeba-shaped mirror he is so happy that he has decided to travel to Delhi on his personal vehicle-The Dust Particle to thank the Met Department officials for their on-the-spot rain prophecy. This has now also resulted in lowering the Stress Level Meter in the Met Department as they can now stay alive without any fear of getting assaulted by HaBa’s acid-spit.
On his way out of the department, he sees Prime Minister NaMo giving blessings to the MPs as they were touching his feet. When NaMo saw that HaBa is watching him, he immediately calls for a meeting in the Central Hall of Parliament and asks all the MPs not to touch his feet or that of any other senior leader anytime and rather be punctual and prepared for all the sessions; a reference to HaBa’s exquisite punctuality and his preparedness of bringing a bottle of Bangalore’s rainwater for the Met officials to taste.
And in addition to this, it’s worth noting that Flipkart’s promise to get the MotoE on the site by 11 AM is the total opposite of how seriously HaBa takes his words. HaBa is already thinking of going and convincing the government to immediately implement FDI in eCommerce to teach Flipkart a lesson. In spite of his regular purchase of scented candles to lighten up his house while at the same time getting rid of the stink of the carcasses of cockroaches and lizards, Flipkart hasn’t learnt how loyal HaBa has been to them till now.
But poor HaBa…and I mean literally poor…as in pauper. He has to book an LPG cylinder before the next month so that he can enjoy his patented pudding-Strawberry-Neem seed hot coffee fudge-at the same price as they’ll be dear next month.
And on a different note; seeing the healthy-looking HaBa at his pink, the NSE and the BSE both touched an all time high despite SEBI’s accusation of L&T Finance’s involvement in insider trading which didn’t really deter anyone.
The Happenings of Hapless Happ 