Happening Pigeon

Sudden downpour at the beginning of the year wreaked havoc with Happ’s health for the past few days. Since he is despicably poor, Happ was forced to wear wet clothes the next day. He got so high a fever that he started coughing and sneezing coins! That’s right. It’s just one of his superpowers – whenever he’s ill, he coughs or sneezes coins! He makes money when he’s unwell!

Anyway, Happ has been regularly spotted with his pigeon in a number of cities recently, making everyone take note of his newfound transportation mode. This has hurt the egos of tech and travel companies across the globe. It is absolutely astounding to see some of the biggest of them going out of their ways to make Happ adopt the use of a smartphone. Since the day Happ started using his multi-purpose pigeon, these companies are fearing being deserted by their customers. In an attempt to avoid that, they have been making great strides in technology to rope Happ back in. Let’s look at a few of them:

1. Google: Google has said that it’ll bring out new updates to its Translate app. Google Translate, in the future, will have the capacity to auto-recognize popular languages and translate them into text in real time! That’ not it. It will also let you capture snapshots of signs, menus and so on, and then translate it onscreen. What they don’t know is that Happ’s pigeon, in addition to all these features also translates the language of animals! Do you think Google Translate does that?
2. WhatsApp: They are saying that their app will soon have a voice-calling facility. But do they know that Happ already talks with others through his pigeon? Happ also freely messages others and receives the same without the need of any blue-coloured double-tick marks through his pigeon!
3. In an attempt to make Happ travel by air, the Tata Group and Singapore Airlines’ JV Vistara took to the skies on  Friday from Delhi to Mumbai. However they made two mistakes: Firstly, Happ lives in Bangalore. How can they even expect the highly respected Happ to offload halfway in Mumbai? And secondly, they’re too late. Happ has now got a pigeon for his transportation needs after his Dust Particle was confiscated by the Indian Government. You have got to be really fast to impress Happ or else you won’t have a chance.

As the news of Happ’s pigeon spread far and wide, India started witnessing a rise in the visits of migratory birds. Just one of the examples being that the Chilika Lake has seen a marginal increase in the migratory bird population from 7.19 lakh birds in 2014 to 7.61 lakh in 2015. About 172 species instead of the 158 species an year ago. This should easily be attributed to Happ’s threat to vultures and also the fact that Happ himself has a bird in his house.

The Department of Industrial Policy and Promotion, seeing Happ more often these days, has big plans to rope in some investment into India. They plan to persuade the US to invest in India during the Make in India Show in Washington on January 20. They expect more companies to invest in India following Happ’s heroics. This also gives the Americans a chance to placate Happ after Kim Kardashian had cancelled her visit to India.

On the sports side, Lionel Messi has denied that he is leaving Barcelona. It should be noted that Happ’s protege Neymar also plays for the same team. Naturally, it makes sense for Messi to learn from Neymar all the tricks taught to him by Happ.

When most of the things go well, some definitely do not, right? That’s what happens with Happ’s life everyday. Though it was a good day for him, the Journal of the American Heart Association has published a study saying that almonds help to reduce belly fat. Just one of the many incidents which break his heart on a day to day basis.